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The only place for a coil spring is up Zebedee's arse
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Is this a flat battery?
I get gearbox fault, eas fault, traction failure, abs fault and it won't start..just click click click with the dash lights dimming in time.
Help!

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Yep- flat battery alright (unless you've got a loose main terminal somewhere) <br>
Stick it on a good battery reviving charger (I charge mine with it still connected- hasn't trashed anything- yet!). Don't disconnect battery as the residual volts will keep your windows/ roof/ sounds/ security alive.
Assuming you're inside the security perimeter of Castle Morat, don't lock it or do anything with the fob.

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Hah.. yes it was!
Thanks ☺

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Hmm next question... can I get a battery from Halford tonight?

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If you can wait for 1 day, buy one of these: <br>
http://www.batterymegastore.co.uk/hankook-mf31-1000.html <br>
They'll deliver next day if ordered before 1630 <br>
You missed the order deadline by 17 mins for delivery tomorrow :-(

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Worth the wait for the MF31-1000 if you can!

If you go to Halfords, they'll try and sell you a tiny little thing for a P38! Same size battery my little 2 litre Mazda has fitted.

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Woah, that Hankook is the Daddy! I'll keep that link handy for next time, thank you.
Sadly, I had to get the Rangie back up and running straight away. The jeep is in dry dock awaiting a new fuel pump module from the USA.

I got one of [url=http://www.halfords.com/motoring/bulbs-blades-batteries/car-batteries/halfords-lead-acid-battery-hb019-3-yr-guarantee]these[/url] from Halfords which is still bigger than the last one which lasted week while we were on the narrow boat then died on the second start :(

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If the picture of the HB019 on the website is anything to go by, the terminals are the wrong way round........

Reviews suggest you'll need the Hankook link sooner than the 3 year warranty would suggest.

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Stick one of these http://www.maplin.co.uk/p/solar-powered-12v-15w-battery-charger-n31cx in your sunroof if you're not using the car for any period of time. I use a couple of them on the campervan- main and leisure batteries, which only gets occasional use. Never ( well in last 4 years) failed to keep batteries fully charged even in weak winter sunshine. <br>

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Not to hijack slightly... have you tried one of those in the sunroof of your P38 Orangebean? Not sure about the horrible dot matrix effect on the glass... would have thought it would cut out a lot of light from reaching the panel?

I'd like to give my P38 a break soon, but don't want to deal with dead batteries etc with nowhere to plug it in on a CTEK charger etc.

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I haven't, but you could stick it in the windscreen or window that faces southish and it'd work just as well. <br>
You'll need to use the croc clips on the battery or make up a fused perm live cable to connect. Our cig lighters are dead unless ignition on!

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Hmm true!

Minor snag in my plan. When my old car is gone, I'd planned to park the new one up there when not using it. But the trees above means it will need a cover or I'll be forever cleaning it. I suppose I could get some magnetic feet and put it on the roof over the cover. Just got to hope some delight doesn't come along and steal it...

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Extend the cable and stick it up in the tree!

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Or use a windmill instead! :)

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Or just do what I do on the SE which is getting more or less ignored at the moment as I've far too many other cars to deal with. Lock it with the bonnet open, disconnect the negative of the battery, close bonnet and leave it. When I want to start it, unlock the drivers door with the key, put key back in my pocket and open the bonnet, reconnect the battery which will cause all doors to lock again (hence putting the key in my pocket), unlock the doors, start the engine. It's got a Parrot bluetooth thing in it which was wired to permanent live so would flatten the battery in a few days but even with the 5 year old battery I took off my white one when I thought I should maybe replace it as it was five years old, it'll fire up straight away and only needs the windows resetting which is no big deal.

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If you disconnect the battery with it unlocked and then manually lock the doors from the inside, then drivers door with the key, then you are far less likely to have problems when you put the key back on

As you say, if it's locked the it will relock upon battery connection. The only other thing with that is the alarm will be armed aswell, and it's a good way of getting into a BECM lockout situation.

I always recommend disconnecting the battery with the vehicle unlocked, which means alarm is disarmed. Then when you put the battery back on, it will return to an unlocked/disarmed state. If it was locked and alarmed when power was disconnected, then you run the risk of it thinking it's been nicked and going into a superlocked state.

My 0.02.... only from usually being the one who gets the BECM on my bench when it's locked itself out!!

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Mmm I know I could disconnect the battery and then lock it all manually etc to at least prevent lockout issues. But then the windows need appeasing, the head unit needs tweaking to get it right, mirror dip needs turning off, set the clocks...

If I were leaving the car for a long time - then fine. But I'm talking periods that could be a couple of days, or maybe a week or two. I'd just rather safeguard against the possibility of something upsetting it and draining the battery.

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Gilbertd wrote:

If the picture of the HB019 on the website is anything to go by, the terminals are the wrong way round........

Reviews suggest you'll need the Hankook link sooner than the 3 year warranty would suggest.

More "Forum Points" for Richard.
The terminals were indeed the wrong way round and the battery is back on the shelf at Hellfrauds awaiting the next vict..er.. customer.
Hankook's finest should be arriving tommorow and in the meantime I'm driving round with the Jeep's battery and a set of jump leads in the boot. I'm consoling myself with the fact that we'll be running a better battery for the same price.

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Bring back the good old days, when with a dynamo you could bump start a caf with no battery in it, lol, although stuff pushing a rangie to bump it

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Hah, yeah. My Wife asked if we could push the rangie up the verge onto the "Grassy Knoll" while it wasn't running. I was polite but firm :)

The hankook is in and it even fits under the stock battery strap thing with only mild swearing. I'm chuffed. Thanks for the heads up!