The above name i'm known by on other forums hence the name LOL

I thought i'd document my ownership and "pain" with you gents, coz it is Thursday and i start a horrible day of work tomorra!!

The Story starts in July 2017 just after passing my test my immediate family wanted me to get something frugal cheap to insure and of course, because i was a new driver something "small" and easy to handle!!

I spent hours looking through Ebay - Autotrader - Gumtree etc for a cheap car, however my mind kept creeping back to big saloons and 4x4's as you do when you're daydreaming on the internet.

There were two cars that i kept mulling over

1 was a Green 1987 Jaguar XJ40 3.6 Sovereign

2 Was a cheap Range Rover P38 V8.

Both were in my budget, and weirdly both were insurable,

I was being asked daily on what i was going to look at, and on "the day" i resigned to tell them that I was going to look at a Mini LOL

Anyway the Jaguar was a complete train wreck, far too much work to bring it up to a respectable daily driver and much more to get it looking good!!

So that was a no go and a waste of fuel!!

Next car "p38" was located in Worcestershire a 75mi trip from where i was, me and my co-driver decided to go down there and have a look..

Naturally it was going dark, and in the light of "dusk" it looked "ok"

LOL

Anyway it drove fine, sounded fine and had no petrol in it!!

So i shook hands at £cough and we were on our way home!!

The first stop was to a petrol station "naturally" where £145 worth of super unleaded was put into the massive tank

And we drove home, a 70mi trip at an average of 19.7 MPG which wasn't too bad considering!!

Pictures from the trip are AWOL but i do have this one from when I got her home!!

those will do for the into on this particular money pit..

more to come later....

H

October 2017 - March 2018

This was the Golden Year for the old Lumber Bus, the best thing about it was she was unstoppable in mud and snow which was a godsend in the winter of late 17 and early 18.

I bought her for this purpose to have some fun, and between buying her in July 2017 I didn't do anything with her until around december, when the tappets started clattering real bad and the oil leaks were getting out of control 🤯

First off was the rocker cover gaskets,

Rover in their infinite wisdom fit what seem to be anti theft bolts to the rocker covers which are a complete ballache, as you need anorexic sockets to get them off.

The new gaskets were much better, as expected than the ones previous, the old ones had turned into Bakelite, i chipped off the old gasket!!

A film of lithium grease on the rubber stops it slipping around.

And the rocker covers were glued back on, to be fair it had alot less black death than i'm used to seeing..
odd.

I threw it back together right in time for the snow to hit!!

Interesting .................... keep going!!

You made the right choice, the XJ40 series Jags rot like there's no tomorrow (and they are ugly!).

When I do my rocker covers (and head gaskets), do I need an 8mm, or 5/16" 12 point socket? And regular or deep?

1/4" drive, 8mm, 12 point is the correct one. Doesn't need to be deep, just slim which is why I say 1/4" drive. I had to go and buy one so went to ToolStation and asked for a 12 point 8mm socket, he came back with a 13mm and said it should be close enough.......

Thanks Richard. 13mm close enough!!! 8mm it is.

"late 2017"
When i bought her she had a slight tick in the top end, initially i narrowed it down to the OS head, when i bought her the Oil was quite dark but not too bad, after doing a few miles in her though i noticed the tapping getting louder...

this might of had something to do with it!
I did think bout buying a longer dipstick LOL

Topped off with an oil of some kind, i think it was 10w50 the noise did quieten down, however the noise on the OS head was tapping away quite merrily to itself..

That quietens her down a bit that's for sure!

And to add to my misery cake, the Headgasket blew, it was cylinder to outside world, which is a rather odd noise, and she blew it in a MacDonalds drive through, frightened the delivery girl!

Pop BANG pop pop LOL

Stripping it down was easy as well pie.

Intake off

Manifold(s) off

front accessory drive off.

And the finished product.

It took me a week between rain showers and being winter, she was put back together, the tappets were taken out and all disassembled and cleaned out with white spirit,,
the gunk in them was horrible..

Elring gaskets were used on assembly.

More to come.

TBH i was tempted to pull the cam and lifters, but this engine doesn't really need it yet!

And tbh the cam was in ok condition.

She ran much smoother after the change, I think she has had a blow since i bought her, as the rough idle and what i thought was an exhaust blow has gone!

Around a week after doing this job she started to have oil pressure issues, the light would flicker, and there was a knock emerging from the bottom end, at this point I was getting a bit pissed off with this V8 🥶

The Sump on one of these is relatively easy to remove, there is a video somewhere! ;)

Anyway mine was pulled off, the only issue upon removal was the rain shower of oil, that came down because the sump still had around 2 litres in it, thanks to me not draining the sump for long enough!

There was a fair bit of white metal debris in the sump, which is never good, I had the option of pulling the crank or doing a bearing roll.

I decided the latter as it was easier!

The old bearings.

the crank journals were in quite good condition considering the bearings were ruined

They were a bit destroyed, ;)

The new ones were rolled in and the caps re-torqued.

Sump glued back on and some Valvoline VR1 20w50 added as her first meal with new bearings. ;)

Much quieter and the oil pressure is much better, 45 pounds at idle whereas before it was 8-15psi

Cosmetic details.. --------------

After doing this I needed to do an easy job for a change, and giving the engine a spruce up was an obvious option..

Before

The plastics were treated with Autoglym vinyl and rubber care,
the manifold was repainted and some conduit to freshen up the bay was added

much more pleasing and a nice change to pulling it apart!!! ;)

Next up was the snow, which was horrendous in 2018, i'm proud to admit my old Rangie was the only vehicle in the immediate family that could muster the traction to drive out and through the snow packed village 🤪

It was terrible, but she did me proud for the weeks and months of the snow.. 😅

Naturally she started to play up just after!! ;)

The idle was starting to become lumpy and fuel economy went from an average of 18.4 to 11,2 !!!

so i scanned it

Hmm..

At that time a MAF was £200.

So.....

I bought this.

the 2 ladies in my life, were sitting pretty at one time ehe LOL

2002 Mini one.

I exchanged it for a set of cylinder heads and a few £££

Insurance was cheap as chips and the fuel economy was TWICE as much more than the V8 could muster.

However it was no fun when compared to the Range rover, but it did allow me to accumulate some MOOLAH!! ; )

H

With the Mini I managed to save up a £10 and buy this!!

A shameless stick on piece of fake walnut LOL

I bought it off a seller on the E of bay..

The Old HVAC is an eyesore in my opinion, the grey plastic sicks out a bit too much IMO
The unit face was cleaner with some Alcohol wipes, to remove the grease and grime..

The old face and the New face!!

Looks a tad bit better in my opinion, and to be fair the colour match is spot on considering the stuff around it is
the real deal..

After this I went back on ebay and bought these! ;)

You can never have too much fake walnut!

These were £15 if i remember correctly, and stick on after a wipe over with an Alcohol wipe..

Stuck these on the windows too ;)

They came free with a LROI magazine!! SCORE!!

A special edition too!!

again alcohol wipes were used to clean the glass. .

not everyones cup of tea, but from a distance they do look quite good ;)

H

March 2018 - Present!

After a few months sitting, and water ingress the electrical system of the P38 started to play up/

First up the Drivers door latch failed, for those in the know the tailgate grounds through it so if it breaks you can't open the tailgate. 😒

Also it prevents the EKA code from being entered! so after a flat battery the Car was immobile.

The door card has to come off/

Naturally there were broken bits, the adjuster rod snapped off..
Not ideal

Wiring was a mare to be honest.

I bought a new/2nd hand unit to fit, it didn't work however!!

The water barrier was refitted and repaired with the duck of tape!!

Naturally this didn't fix it, and the BECM started to blow fuses and the car went haywire.

This caused a chain reaction of pain which lasted 2 years "almost" over this time I pulled the entire car apart looking for a short, in hindsight i was rather ham fisted when doing this and I did damage a good bit of the interior trim

Acres of wiring was also unearthed and I found the entire loom floating in a bath of coolant and water!!
which is something you don't want!

The loom was dried out and re-rapped with insulation tape..

Then the car and my enthusiasm went down the shitter and it looked like this for a while!
poor old thing!!

More to come

H

After a period of her looking like a piece of shyte, I pullled my finger oot me arse and gathered my interior bits back together ;)
they were scattered to the wind thanks to me not having much storage

the headliner went in to Bedouin tent mode in the damp..

The seat was pulled out, because the bECM sits under there, and it was fubar'd and needed to be repaired.

Drivers seat out!

4x T50 torx bolts enabled it to tip up and out the way, it goes without saying disconnect the battery before pulling the plugs under the seat as there are airbags under there!

the BeCM was removed, and the seat bolts and covers were gathered together, as i have a habit of losing things.

Much more space ;)

more chaos later!!