Picked it up from Battersea last night in the pouring rain. I can confirm that the wiper blades were indeed split, the passenger and rear screen ones just had the rubber backing, the actual blade had fallen off long ago. As there was an advisory for a coolant leak, I topped it up before setting off with my daughter following me in mine. Got as far as the Edgeware Road and the temperature gauge shot up to the red. Stopped, let an awful lot of pressure out, refilled it, grabbed a few bits out of the boot of mine and told my daughter she may as well go home, I could always call the AA to pick me up if I can't get it back myself. With the Nano plugged in so I could see the temperature, carried on but as it was getting up to 110 degrees there was a filling station so pulled in there. Put some petrol in it as it didn't run well on gas (even though the gauge showed 3/4 full). Let more pressure out and refilled it again but as I was on a filling station forecourt rather than clogging up a main road through London, took a bit more time about it to make sure I got rid of all the air. For some reason I looked at the viscous fan and noticed the reason why it was running hot, there wasn't one! Fan and viscous coupling were missing. Figured that as long as I could get out of the traffic, once I got to the A1 I should be OK with the airflow through the radiator. So, with one more stop when it started to get hot I soon got clear of the traffic and the temperature came down, and down, and down until at 60 mph on the A1, the Nano was reporting a coolant temperature of 71 degrees! Methinks the thermostat has been gutted. When I stopped it gave me a chance to read the other faults. It has an SRS fault which is reported as driver airbag open circuit, it had an ABS fault which went away once I'd cleared it and is now working as it should, the HEVAC has the chequebook showing due to a duff passenger blend motor and the engine had no stored faults whatsoever.
So, what about the huge list of MoT failure points then? Well, as I'm working a late start, late finish today, I've had a couple of hours to play with it. £3.99 each has sorted the wipers, despite it failing on brake efficiency, there doesn't appear to be anything wrong with the brakes, it stops fine, the parking brake was obviously tested a wheel at a time on a roller as that is working perfectly too, the insecure drivers seat is caused by one front bolt being not there, no idea why it failed on emissions as it runs fine, the lambda sensor are both working and switching as they should but the vacuum pipe to the fuel pressure regulator was off at the inlet manifold, so that may have had something to do with it and I haven't been underneath to have a look at the ball joint rubbers or rusty brake hose ferrules yet but £25 from Avenger 4x4 has got it a viscous coupling and fan, EAS is also working perfectly and has a pump dated 2014. The gas system is a single point Leonardo with a separate 0-1V lambda sensor to drive it and that has obviously died as it runs stupidly rich on gas. The cruise control doesn't work, but the pipe to the brake switch had split and fallen off but even with that back on it still doesn't work. That may point to a problem with the rotary coupler which would also explain the SRS fault. Can't test the radio buttons as the original radio display lights up but doesn't show CODE, or anything else for that matter, so doesn't do anything. Oh yes, and the drivers door doesn't lock or operate the central locking but the other doors all lock and unlock on the fob so a bit of door latch rebuilding is called for.
Overall, it seems very tidy except for the drivers seat base which is split on the side and not much better on the top. From the stored memory settings on the drivers seats, I suspect it's been owned by a fat b*stard which would explain that. So I'm on the lookout for a light blue/grey leather drivers seat if anyone has one and doesn't mind splitting a set.