The only place for a coil spring is up Zebedee's arse
226 posts

I would like to ask a quick question, please - is it possible to find any original, white, plastic door card fasteners ? If so, is it then possible to get them to refit onto the green studs which are located in the door card ?

I noticed that when I took off the drivers' door panel today, to fit a new door handle cable, that there are four black, slide-on fasteners. Would I be right in thinking that these guys replace the original white fasteners ?

I know that these - RANGE ROVER P38 DOOR PANEL CLIPS - 20 X MWC9134 - are easily available.


I thought that it would be instructive to members who live outside the UK, and more specifically, in the EU, to find out what happens now the UK is out of the EU.

I bought a replacement switchpack [ which I know that I could have got from Marty Cox, and perhaps should have done - sorry Marty] from Rimmer Bros, which has an exchange surcharge on it, and cost £244 [ €283] with the surcharge being returned, £50 or so.
The exact breakdown was, in Euro's:
Switchpack - €209.10
Surcharge - €57.96
Sub-total - €267.06
Shipping - €16.16
Total - €283.22

All very well, I know it is pretty expensive but I was looking at the idea that because it has come from Rimmer Bros then it may have been repaired by Landrover, but again perhaps not. It was a cost I was prepared to accept to make sure that my windows go back up when I put them down !! I have just fitted a spare switchpack that I got from Marty early last year and I had kept as an emergency back-up. Now I have used it.

So the "new" switchpack was delivered by UPS this morning, and with a bit of a shock. The driver said that there was €80 due to be paid, care of Irish Revenue. I had an idea that there would be something due, but €80 ???? A bit steep.

The new import rules now, after Brexit, is that anything coming into Ireland with a value of over €150 gets [a] charged 12% import duty, [b] 23% VAT, and the VAT is charged on the sub-total of the cost of the item, the 12% duty, the shipping cost, and then, on top of that, 10% handling fee by the import delivery company.

So my switchpack ended up costing €363.22 !!

That is the cost of Brexit to people outside the UK. Anything that comes into Ireland, and probably applies to the rest of the EU, is subject, over certain limits, to 12% duty and whatever VAT rate is current in the importing country, currently 23% in Ireland. It effectively means that if I want to import spares for the P38 from a tax-compliant shipper and the total purchase cost is over €150 then I need to add around 33/34% to the initial purchase price. It doesn't matter if you buy 151 items at €1 each because the total is €151 and therefore subject to duties.

I can see that, if I have to replace something expensive which has to come from the UK, then the poor old P38 will have to be got rid off as it will be too expensive to repair. And, being a P38, I suspect that day may be sooner rather than later.


Just a note for anyone requiring a good service. Jon Dean repairs key fobs, and he has just done one for me. It took about 2 weeks, bearing in mind that I am in Ireland, and it works perfectly. Now I have two perfectly working keyfobs for a change.

Jon has an Ebay listing as follows:

His email address is as follows:
Jon Dean

po box 160
SG18 1BL
United Kingdom

I remember seeing Jon's name come up somewhere else on the forum, but maybe this post will help some-one in the future as it did for me.


I wonder if anyone knows how to delete a topic which I duplicated by mistake ?


I wonder whether anyone is breaking a P38 with either Beige or Lightstone trim ?

I am looking for some trim fasteners which are hard to find nowadays.
This fastener has a slot in the head:
enter image description here
enter image description here

The one below is a short trim fastener, one that joins two panels, stuff like that:
enter image description here

I would also like to find a front grab handle, complete with the screws, the screw cover caps and with the little metal inserts where the screws fit through the handle mounting holes.

Any help would be appreciated.


I posted quite a bit of stuff on the "Opening Time" heading, about retrimming the headlining material which diverted a bit to the problems concerning the sunroof itself. So, I need to ask another question here.

Where is the "neutral" position for the sunroof when you want to start the "Settings" cycle ?

I thought that I had read somewhere that the sunroof needs to be wound back, fully open, first and then the "Close" switch is pressed and kept pressed until the sunroof reaches the "Tilt" position and stops, then press the "Close" until the glass comes back down.

I did try just starting from a closed position - so press "Open", run right back, immediately press "Close" and let the glass return to closed position and continue up to the "Tilt" position, finally pressing the "Close" switch again but having to guess where the correct closed position should be before releasing the "Close" switch. I keep getting a message "Sunroof Open" though.

So, my questions are:

[1] Do I need to start from a fully open position?

[2] Is there a "Neutral" or a "Stop/Start" position where you can set the glass first ?

P.S. As I have been outside a lot, working on the vehicle, my other half wants to paint the kitchen and she put it this way - "I think that we should paint the kitchen". I know what that means, it means "me", not "we". Why is it always "we" ?????????


Hi, I am just wondering whether an OBD reader tool, Autophix OM850, is any good for doing stuff on the P38. I am guessing that it is only a code reader as it costs around £80.

I can't really justify a Nanocomso I am interested in whether there is much point in something like this Autophix OM850 ?


Seeing as how it is Tuesday I thought that I would post a few jokes, just to make everyone miserable !!

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband!

A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Britain so that they can see their own doctor.

Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of humus and Taramasalata. It's a double dip recession.

A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks, "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"

The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".

In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as:
"I've blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than "I've just buggered a 14 year old escort".

The police still haven't seen the funny side, my laptop's been confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mum's.

63 immigrants seriously hurt in Bradford this morning.
It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed.
The police are blaming AL IKEA.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Police stop an immigrant in his transit on the motorway. Policeman says, "Do you know the limit is 70?"
The driver leans into the back and says: "Hear that - 3 of you have got to get out!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A very nice, innocent Australian woman wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never had sex with another woman.
After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.
She ends up corresponding with Scotty Greer, who is an average golfer and who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback and he has had no experience with women. They meet and she is very happy with him; she feels that they are perfect for each other.
Eventually they end up getting married.
On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the evening.
When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room. Naked. All the furniture from the room is piled in one corner.
"What happened?" she asks.
"I've never been with a woman," he says, “but if it's anything like a kangaroo, I'm gonna need all the f***kin' room I can get!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to Antiques Roadshow
”Ooh!” said the presenter. “This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?”
“Sticks,” said Paddy.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Just got barred from B & Q.
Some guy in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking.
Lucky for me, I got the first punch in.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Man walks into a shop in Australia.
Man: "I bought this second-hand boomerang yesterday, and it does not work. You clearly said 'It always returns' ".
Shopkeeper pauses, looks at the boomerang, then at the man, and says: "......well?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I know this is controversial but I just have to stand up and be counted.
Been on the fence about this but there’s been a lot of debate about anti-Vaxxers in the news lately.
I am now coming forward to stand up and say I’m firmly in the anti-Vax camp. And I know most will be rolling their eyes at this now.
I have my reasons, like many anti-Vaxxers, but it’s important that everyone approaches this sensitive topic armed with the information THEY know to be true.
I know my truth and I have first-hand experience that backs up my stance.
I had a Vax once and it was the noisiest, worst vacuum cleaner ever. I will never buy one again. All these armchair experts have clearly never experienced the disappointment of having to go over the same piece of carpet again and again to pick up the same piece of fluff
I am firmly in the Dyson camp, and I will not be told otherwise…

I just don't like that numpty Riland either, I wish that they would take him off the TV.


I am pleased that this forum is the preserve of adults and not children who shouldn't really be reading about driving and mechanical stuff - unless they are proper grown-up for their age kids !!!

I have the honour of being suspended by the Mercedes Benz Club forum yesterday because - My God - I posted an offensive cartoon that apparently could offend a 10 year old child reading the forum. What always fascinates me about car forums is who they are designed for, and I was unaware that the MB club forum promotes buying, selling, and driving Mercedes cars by 10 years olds. So there, you see. It seems that the Mrrcedes Club is not really intended only for owners buying and maintaining their 5 litre motors [or whatever] but is also for children under the legal driving age, as well.

I am now waiting to see a 14 year old legally owning and driving a 500SL which he has just spent his pocket money of £25,000 on !!! I don't, of course, include the 14 year old criminals who have just stolen that 500SL !

So, if and when, I bother going back to the MB club forum I must remember to stick to the rules as designed by the namby-pamby snowflakes who are the moderators and who don't like to see slightly risque jokes or cartoons. I think that these PC numpties are the same nuggets that have decided that the name of the childs toy, Mr Potatohead, is no longer acceptable. It seems that it is to be changed to a nice, grey, PC name, probably like Tuber Body Part !!

Here is my cartoon anyway, for better or for worse:

enter image description here

I think that we should have a jokes thread as well, by the way. Anything funny, sarcastic, amusing would do.


Hi, can anyone suggest an upholstery company in Edinburgh, to retrim the roof lining in my P38 ?

I have emailed:
Tom Kelly in West Gorgie Park and

but any other contacts would be appreciated. But in Edinburgh or surrounding districts. Please don't suggest guys in Newcastle on Tyne, or Manchester or somewhere else miles away 😀.

I want to get the roof lining redone in the summer - provided that we can finally travel !!! 😂

I know a lot of guys have done this themselves but, to be really honest, I would find this a bit too big to do myself, especially outside on the drive, on my own.


I was throwing out old paperwork this morning and I came across an old German fuel declaration form.

It might just bring back some memories from anyone who used to drive artic's on the continent back in the '60's and '70's.

enter image description here


Hi guys, I'm looking for a bit of help.

My 2001 P38 has been behaving itself quite well during the pandemic, despite not being used very much. However, this weekend, after I had been out in it the keyfob didn't lock the vehicle when the button was pressed. It would unlock but not lock.

I have reregistered the key in the drivers' door lock, and I can lock and unlock with the key blade. The vehicle always starts when the key is put into the ignition.

But what I have noticed is that when I take the key out of the ignition switch there is no "click". I was explecting to hear the "click" when the key was removed and I am wondering whether this is somehow connected to the fact that the keyfob won't lock the vehicle.

Perhaps someone may have a solution to this issue. At least I can lock the motor with the key so that is something.


Hi, I would like to ask for a bit of advice in relation to the never-ending issue of the book symbol on the HEVAC display.

I have read lots of posts giving solutions to the many issues which affect the air-con and ventilation in the P38, but I would like to see if these solutions are directly relevant to the reason the book symbol keeps appearing on the display in my P38.

I have replaced the pollen filters recently, cleaned and hoovered out the plenum area [?], fitted a new plenum filter, but the symbol is stillon the display.

The thing is, when I turn off the ignition, leave the car parked for a day or so and go back out in the vehicle then the symbol is not on the display, it only appears after about 15 minutes or so after setting off. Is this the air-mix flaps getting stuck, or will I need to go through the whole job of replacing the whole blower assembly.

The HEVAC display seems to clear the book symbol each time the ignition is turned off, but is this only the BeCM checking the system and then flagging the issue ?

I was hoping [!!!!!] that this may only be the air flap motor getting stuck, as described elsewhere, but I am wondering whether this is too simple a solution.

Any advice is appreciated, as I couldn't get cold air for the last few days in the hot weather.


Or am I asking too generalised a question ?

I wonder whether anyone would know where to get a replacement drivers side [RHD] seat base ?

The leather is good to excellent but the bolster on the outer edge is starting to go flat. I have two new seat heating pads, drivers and passengers seats, but I would like to fit a new foam rubber seat base to the drivers side seat, to lift it back to near factory spec.

I have checked the usual P38 suppliers, and guys like Exmoor Trim, but I can't find anyone who does new seat bases.

enter image description here

Any suggestions would be appreciated.


Hi guys, I wonder whether someone could upload a picture showing where the VIN number on the front of the chassis is ?

I am getting grief from the tossers at my local NCT [MOT equivalent but worse] test station. They are not satisfied with the ones that you can see normally, the numpties "want to see" the chassis one. Unfortunately, my motor has been painted with heavy "underseal" so I can't find anything !!


Hi guys, I was reading the RAVE manual to see which washer pump is the windscreen one, but I have just noticed that RAVE seems only to refer to a LHD vehicle.

Are the washer pumps [and reservoir] located on the passenger side of the vehicle, whether the vehicle is LHD or RHD ? Or are they on the drivers's side, if we go by the RAVE manual ?


Hi, I would look for some help from the knowledgeable members on the forum, for removing some of the trim when changing the scuttle [plenum] filter.

I took the A-pillar trim off the other day, and cleaned all the rubbish out from behind it. I noticed that the screws are quite badly corroded in the plastic nut-locks or whatever they are called. I have ordered new ones because the rubber seals behind them are not the best and I don't want to leave a place where rain water could get in later.

[A] The question that I have is - how do you take off the black trim piece that runs across the bottom of the windscreen, and sits between the scuttle panel and the windscreen.

I saw a mention of just sliding this trim sideways, after removing the A-pillar trim panel. Is this the case, and will it just slide sideways ? That seems a little too easy, just looking at the trim itself. I had a little pick at it and it does seem fairly firmly fixed. At first attempt I can't quite see how it is going to slide sideways without a lot of persuasion, which will probably result in breaking all the plastic "x" shaped clips, which as everyone probably knows are now no longer available.

Is there a trick to getting the trim piece off, un-damaged ? Does the same piece have to be sealed with RTV silicon when being put back on ?

[B] One other thing - how do you upload pictures ? I saw an answer to this before but I couldn't see how it would let me upload pictures that I have taken. The brief explanation said that I would have to put in a hosting website hyperlink, which, as far as I know, I don't have. On the "alternative" forum, under "image" one can just drop a picture from the laptop or phone and then upload the post. Maybe someone could tell me how to go about uploading an image here, so that I can make a note of how to do it, for future reference ?


Hi, I would like to ask a very big favour of a member with a left hand drive P38, please ?

As members may be aware the RHD drivers' side door handle is no longer available, due to the fact that they come fitted with the original lock barrel, and LR don't supply them any longer. I have been looking everywhere for a replacement handle, with or without a lock barrel but I have not been able to source a RHD handle.

So, after having replaced all the other handles I have found a means of fitting a new handle for the drivers' side but it takes a little work and help from someone with a LHD vehicle.

I believe the answer is - buy a LHD passenger handle. This provides the mechanical position of the latch arm, and also contains the housing block for the key barrel. Having checked the mechanism of my own passenger side door handle I noticed that on the 2001 P38 the only difference with the drivers' door lock is that the actual latch arm [ the plastic arm with a hole in it] is positioned at the opposite side of the mechanism than the passenger side, and, obviously, there is a lock barrel in the drivers' side.

What this means is that the drivers side mechanism, on the RHD drivers' door handle, is the same as the LHD passenger side door handle but with a lock barrel fitted.

The reason that I would like help is that I can't order a LHD passenger side handle without a chassis number. I have telephoned both Rimmers and LR, in Liverpool, and they won't supply me with a LHD passenger handle without the VIN number. Why ? I have no idea, but I would hazard a guess that they know that you can modify the passenger handle to be a replacement for the drivers' side handle for a RHD vehicle.

So, would it be possible for someone with a LHD vehicle be able to PM me with a VIN for a LHD ? I would be most appreciative as, currently I have 3 new door handles fitted but the drivers' door does stand out a bit. It has taken a bit of working out as clear pictures of the different types of latch mechanisms are hard to find, and, as I have already found out, the Rave manual doesn't actually show the correct latch mechanism for a 2001 vehicle. I had to send two orders back to Rimmers until I finally got the correct handle for the front passenger door, even though I had given them the VIN.

The only thing, after fitting the key barrel into a LHD passenger door handle [using advice on a post by MartyUK] is to use a small hole saw to drill the lock barrel hole through the plastic outer cover of the handle.

I know that I could fit a new spring kit to my old handle [ it is not closing in fully, so needs replacement] and then perhaps spray the plastic covers black, but by fitting a complete new handle and fitting the lock barrel effectively means that I have fitted a whole new handle.

Sorry for the long post but I felt a full explanation is required so that if someone is prepared to PM me a VIN at least they know why I need it.


Hi, I want to fit a new scuttle [plenum] foam filter and, having read a lot of posts on the pro's and con's of replacing the pollen filters I decided to have a look at the means of removing the panel in front of the windscreen.

I would like to check how to remove the pillar panels that run up the side of the windscreen, the plastic items. I believe that there are screws underneath the plastic covers, and I am concerned that if I try to bend the plastic covers outwards, to get at the screws, then the covers will crack and split. How do the panels come off, so that I can get at the screws underneath ?

I saw some advice [from Symes] to suggest that only one side needs to be removed, as the lower [windscreen] panel slides out sideways, either on one side or the other.

As I say, my main concern is avoiding damaging the panel up the side of the windscreen. I would be inclined not to fit a new scuttle filter if the side panel are going to break.

Any advice would be appreciated.


Hi, I am looking for a bit of advice about the front passenger window not opening.

I had this problem a couple of months ago, but it was intermittent, the window would go all the way down and not return, perhaps for 12 hours, but then a press on the window switch and the window raised back up as normal.

I bought a working switch pack back in November and replaced the existing one in the vehicle, and everything worked as normal. But today the window wouldn't lower. I couldn't hear anything clicking, or grinding, or making any noise at all. All of the other windows are working normally, and the mirror control is OK.

Is this likely to be the switch pack again ? I would find the coincidence a bit strange as it is the front passenger window again. Before I replaced the switch pack all the other windows worked fine, as well.

Is this likely to be the window motor packing up ? It just seems odd that the problem only affects the front passenger window, and not any of the others.

If I need to replace the motor can it be done with the lift mechanism left in place, or does the whole mechanism need to be removed from the door ?

Any advice would be gratefully received.