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Ended up underneath the car when it started smoking up from the side of the engine on startup.

As Marty said - its not the pulleys or tensioner. It's either in the alternator, or its coming from under the rocker cover behind... I hope its the alternator, its the easier thing to swap to find out. Another nail in this engines coffin if not at this point.

Morat - just a screwfix cheapy but with a hose, so I can get underneath the engine. The normal handheld pump sprayer doesn't really work upside down..

https://www.screwfix.com/p/sx-cs5-white-black-pressure-sprayer-5ltr/7490x

I've just popped to screwfix to buy a pump sprayer with a hose, so I can give that side and the front cover another degreasing underneath, to hopefully spot where it is coming from. How it is getting on top of the frame rail, and on the heat shield of the exhaust is weird.

Only spotted this while swapping the alternator to try and deal with a weird disintegrating bearing like noise when the ancillaries are under load... the replacement I put on howled like a bastard! Came straight back off.... anyone got a quiet Thor alternator they fancy donating? :P

I have an oil leak (standard fitment, of course) that I can't work out where is originating from...

The starter is getting covered in oil, to the point the frame rail immediately opposite it is getting wet, and the exhaust heat shield gets a build up that burns off.

The rocker covers are, for once, not leaking, and I've cleaned/degreased both sides of the engine since last doing them.

Looking up from underneath, the oil does not appear to be coming from the front of the engine, but about half way back, it suddenly is quite wet:

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Front end is dry:

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If it were the valley gasket at the back of the engine, I can't see how oil would make it this far forward? I'm also not dropping much on the ground, the odd drop. I think most is worryingly ending up being burnt off. I thought head gasket perhaps, but from what I can see there is only one oil feed up to the heads, and that is on the front end of the engine above the cylinders...

When the car has been stood it should read ambient temperature - so it should match whatever it is outside roughly. Seems like you've found the problem - I'd be investigating that next.

The connectors from factory are wires crimped on to ring crimps, then riveted to the PCB - on mine, these appeared totally fine... a slight movement of them and out went the light. There might be voltage when you measure with a meter, but was that with lamps in? Connection might be so poor any load pulls the voltage down.

Soldering the wires straight on sorted mine. Quite frustrating as I kept being told the lamp was out entirely, but when I checked... it was working.

The middle brake light doesn't give a fault warning - its possible that all five lamps have blown. Mine started working intermittently, and it turned out to be the crimped/riveted connections used to attach the wires had come loose. Soldered the wires on and all is well again... except for one of the lamps that has actually blown.

Morat wrote:

...so everything is sitting on the floor!
I see many plasterboard fixings in my future...

Followed by everything sitting on the floor again 5 minutes later :) Bloody plasterboard fixings

If the battery is the problem, then the best battery to fit is the MF31-1000, from here:

https://www.batterymegastore.co.uk/hankook-mf31-1000.html

No need to change any battery cables. It is basically the defacto P38 battery.

It isn't plastic... is lacquer. If it were exposed wood veneer, it would need a lot of maintenance and generally look crap - by now it would be probably ruined in most examples.

I get the need to save the useful info on the lpgforum - but is a lot of it that relevant to the P38?

Or the LPG forums here going to be primarily for RRs?

Parked up just now and noticed the top trim is just...gone.

Why is this being such a saga? It's just a bloody windscreen replacement.

I've emailed them again so will see what they'll do about it.

I want a fancy cover!

Perhaps it's a recent thing. Like Gilbertd I got mine a couple of years ago.

I'm in

All done - again!

The guy that came out today was great - certainly above and beyond expectations. He's taken a load of pictures of how it had been fitted to report back, and then set about doing the job properly. I hadn't noticed but the top trim also hadn't been replaced last time, nor had it actually been refitted correctly.

Removed the old/new screen, cleaned the grounding point in the middle, and even knocked out the rusted in screws in the scuttle panel and replaced the plastic inserts with new. All plugged in as it should be - shall see later if it works.

No. Well yes, but to do so would mean defeating the rolling code and that is information that could then be used to defeat the alarm on any other P38, so is certainly not something we would be disclosing. You'd also need to keep your emulator in sync... I'm sure I'm theory it shouldn't lose sync normally.. but hey that's theory.

If you don't want to use original P38 keys, there are other ways to use aftermarket remote locking kits. You lose the extra functionality like superlocking, lazy locking/unlocking though.

Morat wrote:

AH well, maybe our guests will move. I'll check :)

Tell them the venue has changed :)

Picking up a pair of new mounting rubbers from the local JLR dealer tomorrow - under 4 quid, must be the cheapest genuine parts I've ever bought.

My P38 has been my daily for the last 18 months or so having moved closer to work (and it thus being affordable), and I am (/was) really looking forward to having a fully working heated screen. When it gets too cold, the a/c won't come on so you're left waiting for the V8 to warm up.

Have contemplated a few times figuring out a way to fit a fast idle button.

4th/5th works for me :)

Interesting - may order a couple just in case! Thanks