The only place for a coil spring is up Zebedee's arse
713 posts

Anyone know an official site that gives such detail ?

The Gov.uk site only deals with vehicles from 2001+

My local Authority (Council) are issuing Residents Parking Permits based on CO2 emissions (yes, that's right, whilst parking/stationary.....)

Apparently this is to 'discourage larger engines'. Of course, it doesn't - it just acts as (just another) kind of Charge/Stealth Tax...
This follows Khan's plans to 'save the planet' (by TfL raking in £5M/WEEK with ULEZ) /rant off.

Can anyone recommend a good (ie. tried and tested) service who can do this ?

Backstory; Ordered a couple of keys from an 'auto locksmith' on e-bay with plastic fobs (@ £25/pair) but they did not work....
Visual inspection showed considerable differences between what they sent and the original (high res) photo they used to make them.

When I complained and requested (corrected) replacements this was their reply: Trash them then and send us a photo !!

THEIR ACTUAL REPLY: **That part at the end is not a cut. Our computerised key machine cuts the most economical route.

If the key do not work then please break or bend the key blades and put a hammer to the cases. Send a picture once done and a refund will be given **

Customer Disservice is alive and well it seems !

PS: Easy enough to get HU58 blanks but any recommendations on where to get them cut ?

Anyone had this ? Feels like 'cadence braking' is happening... happens at low speeds too

Suspected the ABS (eg. a sensor) but no faults showing via diagnostics !


Not April 1st - but it made me laugh out loud anyway..... https://www.eco-obd2.net/

"Saves up to 35% in fuel costs", but you can "Save up to $25" by just not buying one of course !


No. wait, my mistake, it constantly re-maps your ECU as you drive !!.......


Anyone else encountered this "Hy-Carbon" system ?


Typically £150 for the 90-min 'decarb' cycle ......

Whilst I know all on here are NANO officionados has anyone dabbled/tried this on our beasts ?


Handles the crucial ISO9141 protocol. hence my question.....

.. never seen so many 'ifs and buts' as on my insurance renewal info post-Brexit, "Green Cards" are back etc, and including:


....not to mention:


Yes, this is essentially a 'right to reply' to the "Zero Emissions" Thread which is now closed

Whilst I realise that my remarks within may be considered "inflammatory" (indeed almost as much as the ones aimed at me in that thread, including some from Mods) and so this thread will likely be 'offed' too - but ask that it remain for a few days at least.

And - if they are really 'neccessary' - I look forward to your continued snipes and/or snide/sarcastic remarks too..
but do be sure to make it obvious when you deploy any (actual) 'jokes' !
(PMs as sent to the 'primary perpetrators')

The 'Eco' Thread......

Greetings Gentlemen…….
Well you are very happy to ‘dish it out’ but you really don’t ‘like it back’ now do you ?!

Yes of course I understand why the thread was just stopped, as I also understand what has happening here, other than the ‘standard internet cyber-bullying’ nonsense I mean ! Anyone driving big-block gas-guzzlers is going to feel ‘threatened’ by ‘Zero Emission’ stuff , but unfortunately hostility - either direct or more ‘subtle’ - is really not going to change that…..’sorry’ !!

The thread first went downhill after the unpleasant and unnecessary criticisms of Greta T. with the kind of remarks and comments that you certainly would not accept if they were aimed at your daughters (or grand-daughters in some cases… ). Sadly only ‘Bolt’ was mature enough to recognise that ….

The second problem was an apparent obsession with ‘if I drove a P38 (or not)’ – surely irrelevant in this context - but still that allowed someone to happily indicate I was a liar for not revealing it !

Similarly the numerous ‘personal’ remarks made ‘as a joke’ are not at all “ convincing “ chaps, that is at least when not deliberately-provocative and seemingly-adolescent of course. Perhaps I should be grateful I did not just get the standard teenage response “ whatever ” to my posts ?!

Unfortunately the anonymous nature of Fora allows folks to make comments with impunity (and the normal human courtesies). That – obviously - is what the Tim B-L comment was about. Climate Change causes deaths and that is NOT a joke (now and in the future) and passive-aggressive remarks, eg. ‘cartoons’ showing ‘army snipers’ will really not help that nor the thread…

Perhaps I should have just posted up that famous “You Can’t Handle The Truth” clip from Jack Nicholson instead ? My own ‘hilarious’ joke ‘outburst’ seems to have irritated some…

In response to your final comments Richard I would suggest that the topic –Zero Emissions- is totally valid in any environment where ICE is now -apparently- “the enemy” (or at least easy pickings for our clueless politicians / car lobbyists). As for my comments being ‘off topic’ are you serious (?)

Clearly the car industry -and petrol companies- are ‘feeling the pinch’ - rightly or wrongly. Hence the recent F1 announcement (and many traditional ‘sponsorships’ too) as many are now taking note of the “Environmental Impacts”…. My misinterpreted remark about Lotus obviously relates to claims about “exotic” (and extremely expensive) EV batteries …. But which may not be relevant to the Mass Market.

In fact I was an entrepreneur myself at the start of the IT revolution (Yes, back in the 80s). Now I mentor ‘kids’ on current high-tech opportunities (including ‘state-of-the-art stuff’ like Quantum Computing & etc), Take it from me that these kids, typically in their 20s, “think differently” to the way we (50+) did…
“You may say they are Dreamers, but the’re not the only ones” !!

Seriously I may now use this thread as the basis of my next Seminar: “Why Oldies Fear Change”… (And might turn nasty if faced with it ?)”
Enough said !
Dave (real name)….

On "Dave" right now,- repeated at 7 on "Dave+1"

Building something to compete with a Merc X-Class " Monster Truck/Rockcrawler"

Painful to watch... a (decent) P38 has been butchered to hell and the diffs. welded up, coils fitted etc... !!
The other team have a Toyota Land Cruiser-based 'vehicle'

Think that eventually Car Manufacturers might fall under the same/similar rules ?


(- Me neither: It would upset their long-established Planned Obsolescence 'Rules'...)


" The Land Rover Range Rover is one of the UK’s least reliable cars, according to a new report.

Some 18,284 motorists who own cars less than four years old were surveyed for the What Car? research.

A reliability rating of up to 100% was awarded to 159 models, taking into account the cost of repairs and how long they were off the road after suffering faults.

Japanese models continue to dominate the top of the reliability rankings, both for car model and brand rankings

What Car?
The Land Rover brand occupied three of the bottom five places on the ranking.

This includes the Range Rover (67%), Range Rover Evoque (73%) and Discovery Sport (75%).

The lowest ranked car was the Tesla Model S with just 51%.

A rating of 100% was given to the Toyota Yaris, Suzuki Sx4 S-Cross and Nissan Leaf (2011-2017).

What Car? editor Steve Huntingford said: “Reliability is a huge consideration for any prospective car buyer, as your car is likely to be your second biggest monthly expense after mortgage or rent payments.

“You want your car to last and you don’t want to have to fork out huge amounts to fix faults and keep it running.

“Our annual survey has shown that it is Japanese models that continue to dominate the top of the reliability rankings, both for car model and brand rankings.”

A Jaguar Land Rover spokesman said: “’Quality is our number one priority at Jaguar Land Rover. We are dedicated to delivering the finest vehicles to our customers, therefore we are disappointed with these results.

“We will learn from this data, we have instigated a number of quality measures and product updates in our business that have led to improvements in our award-winning vehicles.

“These new systems and customer focus will lead to improved vehicle quality and customer satisfaction going forward.”

Who Knew ?


I know, it's basically a 'how long is a piece of string?' question but can anyone tell me why these basic items are £100/pop ?
(Perhaps I am being cynical but 'genuine part' does not convince me much either these days...)

Must be time to get the Wire Brush and Hammerite out....

I think we all know there are lots of doubtful Chinese parts on the interweb now but I just spotted a 'new' trend. (New to me anyway)

Not actually a P38 part but I bought something on ebay listed as OEM..... but when it arrived it was labelled as Original Engine Management !!

So beware.. OEM may just mean 'Old Elephant Muck' now....

Any other similar/blatant examples to report chaps ?

Anyone had this problem ? The BONNET OPEN alert on the dash seems to be permanently on....

As many will know there is a micro-switch on the bonnet catch (- the adjacent to the battery -) which supplies a (local) earth back to the BECM (and on my pre-99 it is on Purple/White - Pin 14 - of C114)....

The bonnet catch earth does seem to get back to the BECM OK, but then it ignores it ! Might 'just' be the BECM playing up but any other ideas, chaps ?

On the positive side although the BONNET OPEN alert shows up I can still use EAS
(although I was previously under the impression that BONNET OPEN inhibited the EAS)

Hello experts ! Only just found this site -by chance- after one of my infrequent (these days) visits to the "other" site. Not really going to dwell too much on all the B/S that just happened (and was just removed) but suffice it to say I was also banned... three times. On one occasion is was for not standing for any nasty nonsense from one of RRTH's mates, another time because RRTH did not like my writing style/use of punctuation, particularly italics, and finally because after being trolled by RRTH (who chose to edit almost every one of my posts - simply because he could) I finally 'lost it' and posted up all the bad stuff I had been told about Carl (and LLT); Oh dear..... I think I am detecting a pattern somewhere there !... I also contacted VS in Canada prior to this but quickly realised they did not really care. If you have such a great 'resource' as Richard why would you ban them ? Worse than that for several years many other highly-technical folks with excellent P38 skills 'crossed swords' with RRTH (and his over-inflated ego) etc and were also banned. Just goes to show what happens when you 'give idiots power'... Enough said....

Had my P38 (4.0 SE) for 15 years....and for many of the expected (GEMS) problems too. To be fair my own skills are more soldering-iron related than spanner-related but that's always quite handy with a P38; When folks ask me "what are these like ?" I learned to say "you need an Electronics Degree, a bucket of superglue and a big bag of patience".... but folks on here already know that of course...!

Great to see so many of the recognised P38 experts on here now.... and also to read stories like Richard's French adventures too; As we know it is cathartic to 'share the pain' and know there really is hope with these beasts if you just persevere with them; And that is exactly what John Brabyn intended of course.