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To check them you have to try to lift the wheel up and down relative to the axle which is why the one man tester can't check them. I've noticed that with the modern boots, they don't last. A couple of years ago I fitted a new steering link and the following year the boots were split. Fortunately, the joints were fine so I just replaced the boots.

There's a timer relay under the front passenger seat that wakes the system up about every 6 hours to level the car. If you take that out once you have parked the car, then it won't wake up. If it has still moved overnight, it's a mechanical/pneumatic problem, if it hasn't for some reason it is thinking it is levelling the system when it actually isn't. Why do you drop it down to low when leaving it?

That's a one man test unit and it will show show up slack in wheel bearings and steering joints but not top and bottom ball joints on a P38. If they've never been changed check them, I bet there's slack in at least the top joint.

Mine drives fine but the Ascot doesn't have the same precision to the steering. Admittedly it is on a pair of well dodgy tyres but the only other difference between the two is that mine has had new top and bottom ball joints. They need to be totally knackered before they'll fail the MoT unless the tester knows what to look for. If you jack up on the axle so the wheel is clear of the ground and use a crowbar under the tyre to try to lift the wheel, if there's any slack, they need doing.

If there's slack between turning the wheel and the steering box doing anything, give the box adjuster a tweak. If you mark the Allen screw before you slacken the locknut, you can see where it was and give it a quarter turn. Don't go too silly or the steering will stiffen up but you can take the slop out if you do it carefully.

Don't forget that things are interconnected. It may well be that if the dash isn't powering up the BeCM will know (as the BeCM and dash talk over a data link) so may inhibit power to the windows switchpack or outstations as it thinks the ignition switched supply isn't there.

The one time I had the SRS light and nothing else, I'd had the instruments out. Even though the ignition was off, when I plugged them back in, some of the warning lights flashed on very briefly and then when the ignition was switched back on, all I got was the SRS light. Turned ignition off, unplugged the main connector, sprayed it with contact cleaner, plugged back it in and all was back to normal. If you've got power at C1276, I'd suggest that is the next thing you try considering the amount of damp you've had in there.

Although there's 4 windows and door outstations, the common thing there is the switchpack, if that has no power then none of them will work. The BeCM is responsible for supplying power to them but if you have power at fuse 1, and on both sides of it, the break is beyond the BeCM. Permanent live power to the switchpack comes from pin 8 (Purple/Blue wire) on C1290 at the BeCM while power to the instruments comes from pin 7 (Purple wire) on C1276. C1290 is a 12 way white connector that is down the side of the BeCM next to the transmission tunnel, while C1276 is the 10 way white connector on the back of the BeCM (the only one there and accessible from the rear passenger footwell. Both of these are fed from fuse 1.

You can easily tell a non-smoker, it wouldn't light a fag if it didn't......

So everything you'd expect other than the dash? In position 1 all you would normally get is windows, radio, wipers and fag lighter socket powered up. Message centre should also show the odometer and If the door is open, door open. I've had nothing on the dash except for the SRS light once before and all that needed was a squirt of contact cleaner in the RH plug into the instrument panel but that wouldn't explain no windows.

Following on from Marty's suggestion, does anything power up with the ignition in position 1? Position 1 on the ignition switch supplies a ground to pin 13 (White/Pink wire) on C1280 which is the 16 way white connector into the BeCM (second one from the right below the BeCM fuse panel). Check that you have that ground signal when ignition switch is in position 1 and 2.

Water in the power board is more likely to cause things to work when you don't want them to rather than the other way round and is highly unlikely to let the engine run. But as the power board is on the top, water ingress would get to the processor board first and nothing would work.

No....

Have you got power at Fuse 1? That is supplied directly from Maxi Fuse 1. Odd that the engine still starts as that requires both relay 15 and 19 to energise so you obviously have an ignition switched supply.

A word of advice, when you fit the correct window regulator, drill the holes out a bit and use M6 bolts with nylock nuts rather than rivets. the rivets eventually start to fail and the whole lot wobbles about.

No, pull it out, split in in half, sieve the desiccant to get rid of the dust, put the remaining granules in the microwave to dry them out and then put it back together.

I don't see why not, it can't weigh that much and as you say would give you more space to play with. Would be worth changing the steel fuel pipes that run along the top of the RH chassis rail too while it is in that state. The return rusted through on my old SE so it generated a puddle of petrol under it when running but not when switched off. I'll admit I cheated a bit on that (the same as I did when I had the same problem on my Classic) and replaced both pipes with 7.9mm ID hose which was a perfect fit between the chassis and body.

They are, the two copper pipes that had been fitted to the Ascot had just been stuffed in roughly in place with the odd tie wrap attaching them to the original ones. I pulled out most of them and fitted the pipes into the clips but the bit at the back above the chassis rail is still there, just chopped off at each end. At least I've won myself a few spare pipe ferrules now. Rather than disconnect everything, re-run it and have to bleed the whole system, I took the panhard rod off and refitted it under the hoses.

Figured mine didn't look right.......

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Hoses run under the Panhard rod and bracket bent so the pipes were hard up against the axle

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and this is how they are now, along with a new nearside pipe. Angle is still different to how it should be but as I finished it off in the rain, I'll give it a bend when I'm next under it.

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Should have spent the money on desiccant for the dryer, either that or take it out and stick it in the microwave at least. I bet it's set like solid porridge. The thermal switch cuts out at 105 degrees C and the compressor is designed and built to be able to withstand the heat so shouldn't need any additional cooling.

That's one for Gordon to answer but there is the Track Topic button. No idea what it does or how it works but presumably it does something useful.